The Dalliance Guide to Lube
By Trisha Andrews, LMFT, CST
Co-Founder & Clinical Training Director of Dalliance Sexual Wellness
Sexual lubricants are formulated to reduce friction during sex and to enhance pleasure, enjoyment, and comfort. While finding the right vaginal lubricant may require some experimentation, the effort is worth it once you discover your favorite. Overall, lubricants can enhance intimacy, alleviate discomfort, and add playfulness to sexual experiences. Experimenting with different options can help you find what works best for you and your partner.
Selecting the right sexual lubricant can enhance comfort and pleasure during intimacy. Vaginal lubrication is essential for comfortable intercourse. Many women, especially during menopause or even before, struggle to produce enough lubrication naturally, leading to vaginal dryness. Even if natural lubrication is sufficient, additional lubricants can significantly improve the experience.
When selecting a lubricant, it's important to choose one that suits your body and sexual preferences. We’ve done the research for you here are several to choose from and our favorite Dalliance-approved brands:
Water-based lubricants are the most popular type of lube because it doesn’t alter the vagina's pH or degrade latex condoms. It's affordable, easily found in your favorite sex toy shop or Target. It’s easy to clean up from skin and fabric, and pairs well with condoms and all sex toy materials. The downside is that water-based lubes are easily absorbed into the skin, which may leave a sticky residue—a potential drawback for those with sensory sensitivities—and often require more frequent reapplication. When choosing a water-based lube, look for those with low osmolality, meaning they have a higher proportion of the base product and fewer chemical ingredients. High osmolality lubes are more likely to cause irritation.
Silicone-based lubes are known for their long-lasting endurance, making them a favorite for anal sex due to their durability. This lube is also ideal for water play as it is water soluble and doesn’t break down. Silicone lubes are safe to use with latex condoms. However, they are harder to remove from skin and fabric, tend to be more expensive, and should not be used with silicone-based sex toys, as they can cause the toys to degrade.
Oil-based lubes may contain plant-based oils such as sunflower seed oil, sweet almond oil or coconut oil. Oil-based lubricants can trap bacteria, creating an ideal environment for infections and reactions in the days following use. However, they can double as sensual oils, making them perfect for massages during foreplay, leading to sexual stimulation. Oil-based lubricants are easier to spread, allowing you to cover more surface area. Due to their tendency to trap bacteria, it's crucial to thoroughly wash any toys used with oil-based lubricants to prevent bacterial growth and reduce the risk of infections for both partners.
Hybrid lubes are the best of both worlds - the easy cleanup of water-based lube with the long-lasting glide of silicone lube. The best news is you can use these hybrid lubricants with your silicone toys because they won’t break down the material.
Sensory lubricants are designed to create warming or tingling sensations, adding a fun twist to your sex routine. They can help you try something new and exciting. It’s important to note that some, the ingredients that produce these sensations can sometimes cause irritation, so it's important to be mindful of potential irritants
How to use a personal lubricant:
Start with a small amount and gradually adjust based on your needs.
Keep the lube within easy reach, whether by your bedside or in your purse, for spontaneous moments.
Warm the lube in your hands before applying to avoid a cold sensation.
Use a drop of lubricant inside a condom to enhance sensation for the wearer.
Pay attention to how the lubricant works for you and your partner and be open to trying different products if needed.
What to avoid: We recommend avoiding any petroleum-derived oils or oil-based lubes, as they can promote bacterial growth and damage condoms. We said it once, we will say it again, silicone lube and silicone toys don’t play well with each other. Lastly, avoid products containing glycerin, parabens, or harsh chemicals, especially if you have sensitive skin or allergies.
Ultimately, the best lube for you is one that feels good, enhances pleasure, and meets your individual preferences and needs. Don't be afraid to try different options until you find the perfect fit for you and your partner.
Exploring lubricants is just one step towards a fulfilling sex life. If you're facing sexual concerns, discomfort, or want to enhance your intimate experiences, our Sex Therapy services can help. At Dalliance Sexual Wellness, we offer personalized guidance to address various aspects of sexual health and pleasure. Ready to elevate your sexual well-being? Learn about our Sex Therapy services and book your consultation today.