Next workshop TBD
Held virtually
$500 per person - payment plans available
Limited to 10 men
OCSB Workshop
For men who struggle with sexual addiction
or out-of-control sexual behavior
It’s how we came to be, it’s what we’re hard-wired to seek and express for our survival as a species. It is also something that can lead us to experiencing immense pain. Sex is something we can feel totally out-of-control with. Our culture’s term for it is sex addiction. Our therapeutic, more scientifically-accurate term is “out-of-control sexual behavior,” or OCSB. Whatever you call it, the feelings are the same: you’re unable to stop engaging in seeking out a better orgasm, a more salacious and interesting piece of porn, a more exciting sexual experience that never really quite does it for you. It feels addictive. This seeking behavior can ruin your relationships, drain your bank account, and make it really tough to live a life that is truly meaningful.
Men’s OCSB Workshop is a virtual, psychoeducation group where you can learn and explore what is needed to regain control of your sexual behavior. In this group, you will receive tools to develop your integrity, accountability, and relational thinking skills, and begin to heal yourself and your relationships with others. You’ll learn about sexual health, sexual responsibility, and use the Six Principles of Sexual Health to guide your choices. Consistently honoring agreements through self-motivation and self-honesty is the core of attaining and sustaining sexual health. This workshop is an opportunity for you to practice your core skills of honoring agreements, maintaining sexual health plans, and connect with others through honesty, accountability, and trust.
This workshop is an immersive and highly specialized experience designed specifically for up to 10 men seeking to heal their out-of-control sexual behaviors, thus enriching their sexual relationship with themselves and, eventually, their current or future partner(s). Over the course of eight hours, you’ll receive the sex and relationship education you’ve always deserved but most likely never got. You’ll learn about sexual health, sexual expression, self-reflection, sexual fulfillment, sexual starvation, and sexual mindfulness. You’ll engage in creating a Sexual Health Plan (SHP) that will be a tangible, useful tool to guide you in coping with your challenges around sexual urges, self-regulation, decision making, and your current and/or future relationship agreements. You’ll engage in an accountability and discussion process with other men that will help you begin to verbalize your sexual and erotic dilemmas and frustrations honestly. You’ll spend a portion of the workshop discussing how to celebrate your wins and learn from your challenges while adhering to your SHP, and you’ll hold one another accountable in a supportive, relational way. The workshop will cover a wide range of issues related to sexuality, relationships, desire, stress management, self-care, and overall sexual health. This is a unique opportunity to engage in focused, comprehensive education aimed at improving sexual satisfaction and overall quality of life.
To create a safe, cohesive environment, Helen and Alyssa conduct 30-minute group member interviews free of charge. We do this to ensure all participants and facilitators feel safe and comfortable in a vulnerable space. Workshop rules will be outlined in our first meeting and space will be offered if concerns ever arise.
Foundational Concepts for this Group:
Sexual Health: is a state of physical, emotional, mental, and social well-being in relation to sexuality; it is not merely the absence of a disease, dysfunction or infirmity. Sexual health requires a positive and respectful approach to sexuality and sexual relationships, the possibility of having pleasurable and safe sexual experiences, free of coercion, discrimination and violence. For sexual health to be attained and maintained, the sexual rights of all persons must be respected, protected and fulfilled. (WHO, 2006)
Sexual Responsibility: Responsible sexual behavior is expressed at individual, interpersonal and community levels. It is characterized by autonomy, mutuality, honesty, respectfulness, consent, protection, pursuit of pleasure, and wellness. The person exhibiting responsible sexual behavior does not intend to cause harm, and refrains from exploitation, harassment, manipulation and discrimination.
Together, our definitions of Sexual Health and Sexual Responsibility create the Six Principles of Sexual Health:
Consent
Non Exploitation
Protection
Honesty
Values
Pleasure
workshop OUtline
-
WHAT TO EXPECT
We will begin with introductions. You’ll tell your story about your challenges with your sexual health. You’ll experience commonalities with others and what opportunities for healing and maintaining health are here for you. You’ll likely also experience your differences, highlighting what you need to uniquely keep in mind, work on, and understand how your life experiences can allow you to support others. By supporting others, we tend to grow ourselves through the process of: learn, do, teach.
You’ll also work on your own sexual health plan (SHP). You’ll give yourself boundaries and identify supports. You’ll identify your tendencies toward self-regulation, attachment patterns, and how you address and create action around your erotic dilemmas. You’ll learn how to create change in your life through honoring your own SHP.
SKILLS DEVELOPED
● Defining sexual health and sexual responsibility
● Creating a sexual health plan using the Six Principles of Sexual Health
● Identifying self-regulation patterns
● Identifying attachment tendencies
● Identifying erotic dilemmas and sexual preference challenges -
WHAT TO EXPECT
After our SHP accountability and challenges check-in, you’ll learn the in’s and out’s of consent the way you were meant to be taught. Consent is one of those topics in our world that is thrown around like we’re all supposed to know what it means without actually getting into the nitty-gritty. You’ll explore your relationship to consent, your personal actioning and embodiment of it, and understand how to honor consent in a more sex-positive way.
SKILLS DEVELOPED
● SHP maintenance & challenges
● What is consent?
● Verbal and non-verbal data on consent
● Sex positivity and consent
● Honoring “No” and regulating disappointment -
WHAT TO EXPECT
Be honest - how often do you find yourself thinking about the Holy Roman Empire?
Our world was built upon exploitation of rank and power. Most of us know what exploitation is only after someone is harmed. You have to recognize what exploitation is, what the experience is like, when you’ve been exploited yourself, when you’ve been the exploiter, and have a plan for what you can do to maintain health, integrity, and safety when you encounter it.
SKILLS DEVELOPED
● SHP maintenance & challenges
● Recognizing exploitation
● Power and rank
● Healing exploitation -
WHAT TO EXPECT
Sexual health and safety is the focus for discussing protection and you’ll explore your SHP and sexual self through this lens. Knowing why it is important to honor both your own and others’ health is essential to the work of integrity within living by our six principles. You’ll not only look back through sexuality through this lens, but also into the future at preventative sexual healthcare.
SKILLS DEVELOPED
● SHP maintenance & challenges
● STI/HIV-related health factors
● Unwanted or unintended pregnancy myths/facts
● Honoring others’ health status -
WHAT TO EXPECT
Honesty is hard. What do we mean by radical honesty? Why does the feeling of shame take over so intensely and knock you off of the path of integrity? You’ll discuss strategies to increase honest, open communication, learn to express your erotic dilemmas differently, and learn the meaning of true strength and being relational in honesty.
SKILLS DEVELOPED
● SHP maintenance & challenges
● Why is honesty so hard?
● Regulating shame toward guilt
● How to have hard conversations
● Being relational -
WHAT TO EXPECT
You’ll work directly with the concept of values. Yes, values are woven throughout this work; you’ll learn how to embody your values, make the more difficult choices you must make (because, truthfully, it is hard to not choose the immediate, most pleasurable option), and learn to regulate through choosing hard work and integrity.
SKILLS DEVELOPED
● SHP maintenance & challenges
● Values sort & values embodiment
● Regulating through integrity and hard work
● Values-based living and making choices -
WHAT TO EXPECT
Pleasure is the measure of a great sexual experience, after all. The goal of sexual health is not abstinence (unless that’s your thing!). It's knowing how to create truepleasure and true play in your life, which absolutely requires you to know about dopamine regulation, knowing your play style(s), and knowing how you need to organize life to create balance that is right for you and the life you want to live. You’ll round out your workshop experience and SHP maintenance with aspirations that you will take with you into the world.
SKILLS DEVELOPED
● Pleasure is the measure
● Discussing erotic dilemmas
● Dopamine regulation -
WHAT TO EXPECT
To wrap up the workshop, you will reflect upon the concepts that were explored over the last 7 hours. You will discuss why it is important to live by the six sexual health principles as a standard for maintaining healthy sexual expression, relationships, finances, and, ultimately, lives. You will learn how to engage with your community in order to work through challenges that arise around living by your SHP, as well as learn about the stages of change and how these can help you maintain sexual health as you live and change.
SKILLS DEVELOPED
● Stages of change
● Leaning on community and further learning
● Ideal end states
Ready to invest in your sexual well being and pleasure?
Contact us today to learn more about our Men’s OCSB Workshop and reserve your spot for our upcoming session!